How To Deal With Stress That Comes Up Around The Holidays
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Now that it’s November (wow... how did we get here?), the holiday season is upon us! For some folks, this means spending time with family and friends, celebrating together, and carrying out various traditions like baking cookies, decorating the house, or drinking hot cocoa by the fire while it snows. Simultaneously, though, the holidays often mean spending a lot of time surrounded by people, answering a million questions, and in some cases, tolerating tough relatives or friends (we’ve all been there!).
That said, because the Covid-19 is still prevalent and spreading in many areas of the U.S., it’s possible that you won’t be able to spend time with your family or friends this year. For many of us, this is uncharted territory. If you suspect that this might be the case for you, skip to the end of this article for my advice on how to cope.
It’s okay to have heightened feelings of stress or anxiety around the holidays—but there are in fact ways that you can mitigate those feelings without taking away from any of the experiences you love.
Here are a few tips to help you ease your stress during the holidays this year.
1. Take the space you need.
When we’re with family and loved ones, it’s easy to feel guilty for wanting some alone time. But the truth is, we all need alone time, and taking time for yourself is not selfish—it’s self-care. You may be thinking to yourself: “There’s no way I’ll be able to find time to be alone.” In that case, my best advice is to create it.
If there’s an activity you’d rather not participate in, tell everyone you’re going to stay in and you’ll catch up with them later. If they’re watching a movie you don’t want to see, you have every right to excuse yourself to do something else. Personally, I like taking a few hours for myself in the morning to do my morning routine, go for a walk or get in my workout, and shower before joining in the festivities. This quiet time allows me the space to work through any anxious feelings I’m experiencing, and honestly, it makes me happier throughout the rest of the day!
2. Stay active.
Many of us become couch potatoes around the holidays—the food is delicious, it’s usually cold outside...who wants to do anything but relax and watch holiday movies? Trust me, I get it. But another way to implement tip #1 (getting the space you need) is to carve out time every day for your fitness routine. Not only will physical activity naturally make you feel better—thank you endorphins—but it means you’ll get at least 20 or 30 minutes (or more) to yourself each day. Go for a walk, a jog, a run, or do an at-home yoga class or bodyweight workout. This is a time when you can just focus on you, and get a break from all the action.
3. Take a deep breath, and write it out.
Raise your hand if you’re guilty of bottling up your feelings! (Spoiler: My hand is raised.) When people or situations make us feel uncomfortable, we tend to suppress our emotions because we don’t want to make a scene or draw attention to ourselves. While this reaction makes sense and isn’t necessarily “unhealthy,” we have to find another outlet for these feelings. If we don’t, they’ll either A) boil over and lead to a breakdown, B) make it so we can’t enjoy the experience at all, or C) both.
I find meditation (particularly deep breathing) a powerful tool for settling myself down when I’m riled up. Research has shown that even five minutes a day makes a huge difference for stress and anxiety management! I also love journaling—it’s an incredible outlet for emotions and things I want to say that are better kept to myself (or that I don’t want to express, and would rather process and move through). There are plenty of journal prompts online if you need a place to start, but in my experience, just letting your thoughts flow onto the page can be extremely cathartic. By the time I’ve scribbled down what happened, I usually feel lighter, and like I have a better understanding of how to navigate the situation in the future.
How to cope with not seeing your family or friends this holiday season
Stay in contact with your loved ones, however you can. Schedule FaceTime calls, family Zoom sessions, or simply call them to catch up. Remember that nearly everyone’s holiday season is going to be different than past years. The people who matter to you will jump at any chance to see you, even if it’s virtually.
Try to make “plans” of your own. There’s no rule that says you have to have a turkey dinner or Christmas Eve feast in order to celebrate the holidays. If you have time off from work, make plans around the holidays to do things that you want to do. Try a new recipe, bake your favorite sweet treat from scratch, start a new TV show, paint your nails, do a face mask, start an arts and crafts project, redecorate your home, unclutter your closet, take a bubble bath, go for a walk with a friend, tear into a new novel. Whatever you’ve been putting off or been dying to do, now’s the time to do it! Holidays are about resting and soaking in the season, and there’s no reason why you can’t do so solo.
Start a new tradition. 2020 has been a tough year in so many ways, but we deserve to make the most of what’s left of it. Why not take this time to start a new tradition for years to come? Bake cookies with a long-distance friend over FaceTime. Watch a festive movie. Send out handwritten holiday cards to remind people that you’re thinking of them. Just because this holiday season may look different, it doesn’t mean that it has to be worse, or that nothing good can come out of it.
If you think you might need a little extra support this holiday season, the Pure Joy Wellness community is here for you! Follow this link to join our Private Pure Joy Wellness Facebook Group.
Until next week…
xo
Renata