8 Ways You Can Show Yourself Self-Love Everyday (Especially Valentine's Day)
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Valentine’s Day is a pretty loaded holiday—it comes with a lot of pressure and expectations about what the day should look like. In our minds it should have chocolate, a romantic dinner, gifts, cards—and most of all, we should feel loved. Unfortunately, though, we’ve been conditioned to look for love, validation, and even permission outside of ourselves. We’ve come to rely on other people for love, and we spend a lot of time waiting to receive it instead of giving it to ourselves. I believe that until we become our own steady source of love, it’s very difficult to fully love anything or anyone else.
So, with Valentine’s Day looming, consider being selfish for a change. Put all of your energy into the one relationship that really matters—the relationship you have with yourself. Anything you wish to receive and experience on this day, gift it to yourself. Allow yourself to bask in the beautiful brilliance that is you, and treat yourself to all of the greatness that you long for and deserve.
On that note, here are a few ways you can show yourself some much-needed self-love this Valentine’s Day (and any day you please).
1. Check in with yourself.
Take some time in the morning to get quiet, meditate, and check in with yourself. Connect to whatever it is that you need to be, feel or do at this moment. This will set the tone for the rest of your day and bring self-love—something we usually write off or forget about—to the forefront of your mind.
If you’re new to meditation, there are thousands of guided meditations online, or you can start with an app like Ten Percent Happier.
2. Write yourself a love note.
Love notes, thank you notes, notes of gratitude...how many times in your life have you written one of these to yourself? Zero? It’s sort of ironic that we spend so much time appreciating and loving others on a regular basis, yet we don’t find time to do that for ourselves.
So here’s an idea: Write down all of the things that you love and admire about yourself. Resist the urge to point out your flaws. By focusing on your strengths and your gifts, you will fuel your mission to create more appreciation and gratitude for yourself.
3. Surround yourself with beauty.
I don’t know about you, but when I’m around things that light me up, I just feel better. Fresh flowers, scented candles, soft music or an organized home base can all be very helpful in creating an uplifting living space.
Whatever those little things are that cheer you up—whether they’re items, sounds, smells, or colors—try finding more ways to incorporate them into your day. It can be as simple as taking a bath or putting on your favorite song.
4. Take yourself out on a date.
In all my years of working with clients, I’ve realized that one of the hardest things for people to do is to go out by themselves. I always tell them to go for it! There’s nothing shameful or wrong with getting dinner or drinks by yourself—having someone else isn’t a prerequisite for living your life. Would you ever not eat dinner at home because no one else was there? Of course not.
Get dressed up and take yourself out on a date for one. You get to choose the venue, the time, the vibe, and the details—so indulge in something that lights your soul on fire and brings you the most joy.
5. Eat well.
We don’t often think of eating this way, but being selective about what foods you choose to nourish your body with is one of the most important forms of self-love (and it’s something you can do every day!). What we eat affects how we feel and how we live, so choose foods that create the highest form of energy, comfort, and delight for your body.
6. Treat yourself to a fun workout.
While having a steadfast workout regimen is wonderful (and encouraged!), it can be fun to branch out and try something new every now and then. If you usually do strength training or cardio, why not sign up for a dance workout? Maybe an upbeat barre class? Do something you wouldn’t usually do! Take this as an opportunity to try whatever workout you’ve always wanted to but never have, whether that’s boxing, pilates, HIIT, spinning, rowing, treadmill running—anything!
7. Spoil yourself.
It’s so easy to get caught up in the cycle of life: wake up, exercise, eat, go to work, come home, sleep, repeat. That’s why it’s so important to remember to indulge in things that create passion and excitement in your life. These are the things that fuel you to consistently function at your best and flood you with energy. Whether it’s a massage, a good book, a spa day (or at-home spa day), be sure to set this valuable time aside for yourself. You’ll never regret doing it.
8. Indulge a little and have some chocolate.
Few things go together better than chocolate and Valentine's Day. In the event that you’re craving something sweet, here's a brownie recipe that I’ve been making and giving out on Valentine's day for years. These are healthier brownies made without white flour, butter and refined sugar. That’s right—they’re dairy-free, gluten-free, grain-free, and refined sugar free, but they’re still perfectly decadent and deliciously satisfying.
Healthy Valentine’s Day Brownies
Ingredients
1 cup + 2 Tbsp (110g) super fine almond flour (spoon and level to measure)
1/2 cup (43g) unsweetened cocoa powder (spoon and level)
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp baking powder
1 cup (170g) pitted Medjool dates (about 11)
1/4 cup (80g) honey
1/4 cup (60g) coconut oil, melted
2 tsp vanilla extract
2 large eggs
1/4 cup (42g) mini semi-sweet chocolate chips (optional)
Instructions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease an 8 by 8 inch baking dish with coconut oil (you can also line with parchment if you want to be able to easily lift them from the pan).
Add almond flour, cocoa powder, salt, baking powder, dates, honey, coconut oil and vanilla to a food processor.
Process until well blended and dates have been finely ground down, about 1 minute.
Add in one egg and pulse about 15 times (or as needed) to blend, then repeat with the second egg. Stir in chocolate chips with a rubber spatula.
Spread mixture evenly into a prepared baking dish. Bake in your preheated oven until the brownies are set (a toothpick will still come out with crumbs), about 20 to 25 minutes.
Let the brownies cool for 5 or so minutes before cutting and serving. Once fully cooled, store them in an airtight container.
For a healthy, but optional chocolate syrup:
Microwave 1 Tbsp coconut oil and 1 Tbsp honey in a microwave safe bowl until the coconut oil is melted. Stir in a little cocoa. Let cool slightly for a thicker consistency.
*Note: Use a heart shaped cookie cutter to make them special for Valentine’s Day!
Recipe source: inspired by Bites for Foodies
To put it simply, you should never underestimate the power and value in nurturing the relationship that you have with yourself. Self-love breeds confidence, success, and joy within you, and with it comes the power to breathe light into every corner of your life. Self-love is also the key to creating healthy and lasting relationships with others.
So this Valentine’s Day (and once a month, if you can swing it), write yourself that beautiful love note, book that spa appointment, and set aside time to honor, love, and care for the priceless perfection that is you.
And if you want even more love—from a community of empowered, like-minded women, including myself—join our Pure Joy Wellness Private Facebook Group! To join, visit the group here and click “Join Group.” From there, I’ll accept your request and you’re in!
xoxo
Renata